








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2661 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2929 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3598 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2978 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,607 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Thistle | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Rickyisms | 49% | 246 |
| #4 | lufle | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Superkai64 | 47% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Superkai64 | 47% | 113 |
| #6 | King ` G | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | Fence | 45% | 172 |
| #8 | Jiimmy_b | 44% | 100 |
| #9 | Ballbang Inspector | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickyisms | 33 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Fence | 25 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Jiimmy_b | 25 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Superkai64 | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | kurwa | 8 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickyisms | 639 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Superkai64 | 380 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | Fence | 319 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jiimmy_b | 253 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | kurwa | 109 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa | +4.07 | 85 | 67 |
| #2 | Superkai64 | +3.27 | 79 | 74 |
| #3 | dannyjf | +1.02 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | Jiimmy_b | +0.60 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | Fence | -0.82 | 57 | 57 |





