








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1390 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1083 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 960 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1310 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,387 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lufle | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | dannyjf | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | Jiimmy_b | 66% | 47 |
| #4 | King ` G | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | Fence | 58% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | King ` G | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | Fence | 58% | 84 |
| #6 | Rickyisms | 56% | 118 |
| #7 | Ballbang Inspector | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Thistle | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickyisms | 22 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Fence | 20 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Jiimmy_b | 16 | 0.0172 |
| #4 | dannyjf | 6 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | lufle | 4 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickyisms | 238 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Fence | 132 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jiimmy_b | 98 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | King ` G | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | dannyjf | 77 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa | +4.45 | 85 | 71 |
| #2 | dannyjf | +1.98 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | Jiimmy_b | +1.43 | 85 | 57 |
| #4 | Fence | -0.36 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | King ` G | -0.65 | 26 | 79 |





