








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 936 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5116 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3511 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1909 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3449 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,240,118 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 64% | 58 |
| #3 | legacy | 60% | 84 |
| #4 | Pontic | 59% | 37 |
| #5 | Dan | 58% | 278 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dan | 58% | 278 |
| #6 | rose | 56% | 64 |
| #7 | techyyy | 55% | 78 |
| #8 | Sunny | 49% | 67 |
| #9 | Logs | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | techyyy | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | rose | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | legacy | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 6 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 1346 | 0.23 | 40 min |
| #2 | Sunny | 346 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | legacy | 271 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | techyyy | 258 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 197 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | +3.84 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | Cryptic | +2.39 | 91 | 69 |
| #3 | rose | +1.55 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Logs | +1.16 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | techyyy | +0.92 | 79 | 51 |





