








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3642 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2072 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1026 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1800 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,248 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | 86% | 21 |
| #2 | Pontic | 74% | 35 |
| #3 | techyyy | 73% | 67 |
| #4 | Logs | 66% | 83 |
| #5 | Dan | 60% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Goober Guth | 59% | 37 |
| #7 | legacy | 53% | 38 |
| #8 | Marcus | 50% | 16 |
| #9 | Tsamina mina | 49% | 67 |
| #10 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | techyyy | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Logs | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Tsamina mina | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 885 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | Logs | 453 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #3 | Tsamina mina | 404 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #4 | techyyy | 243 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pontic | 144 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | +4.70 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Cryptic | +3.91 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Logs | +2.86 | 85 | 71 |
| #4 | techyyy | +2.01 | 86 | 50 |
| #5 | Pontic | +1.49 | 76 | 65 |





