








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2557 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1811 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2576 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2139 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,422 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boom | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | MATJEZZ | 51% | 160 |
| #3 | germain | 51% | 267 |
| #4 | Electronic_Beef | 50% | 187 |
| #5 | str1p | 49% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Electronic_Beef | 50% | 187 |
| #5 | str1p | 49% | 126 |
| #6 | Barøn | 49% | 90 |
| #7 | tobbe | 49% | 291 |
| #8 | Skaloo | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobbe | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | MATJEZZ | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | germain | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Electronic_Beef | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | str1p | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germain | 956 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | Electronic_Beef | 354 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | boom | 218 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Barøn | 187 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | str1p | 122 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germain | +2.75 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | tobbe | -0.15 | 91 | 37 |
| #3 | str1p | -0.16 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | boom | -0.27 | 84 | 47 |
| #5 | Electronic_Beef | -0.88 | 66 | 63 |





