








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5404 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5283 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4053 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5337 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,650,877 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 603 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barøn | 55% | 180 |
| #2 | marc ♿ | 51% | 267 |
| #3 | MATJEZZ | 50% | 266 |
| #4 | tobbe | 50% | 501 |
| #5 | str1p | 49% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | tobbe | 50% | 501 |
| #5 | str1p | 49% | 225 |
| #6 | boom | 49% | 138 |
| #7 | Skaloo | 47% | 85 |
| #8 | Electronic_Beef | 47% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobbe | 48 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | MATJEZZ | 33 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Electronic_Beef | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | str1p | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Barøn | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Electronic_Beef | 615 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | marc ♿ | 508 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | boom | 470 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Barøn | 347 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | str1p | 225 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | germain | +2.41 | 91 | 70 |
| #2 | tobbe | +0.11 | 92 | 37 |
| #3 | str1p | -0.39 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | Barøn | -0.78 | 83 | 50 |
| #5 | marc ♿ | -1.10 | 76 | 59 |





