








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3210 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4757 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2371 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3854 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,585,995 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dreaNN_ | 65% | 51 |
| #2 | nLk | 63% | 126 |
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 60% | 169 |
| #4 | aLx | 60% | 121 |
| #5 | renegerd | 57% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | renegerd | 472 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | nLk | 402 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | hAcky | 327 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Hoax🍋 | 270 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | aLx | 252 | 0.10 | 7 min |





