








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 441 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,941 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3207 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3576 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4535 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3623 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,002,499 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dreaNN_ | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | Dennsing | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | nLk | 63% | 123 |
| #4 | Collynzen | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | Hoax🍋 | 61% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niya | 480 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | nLk | 389 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 275 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | aLx | 244 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Collynzen | 173 | 0.16 | 4 min |





