








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 922 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1340 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1303 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1625 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,979 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lagijar | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | Punished Ape | 44% | 43 |
| #11 | LukasL | 42% | 45 |
| #12 | Hazza | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | Waifu | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Dougie | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | LukasL | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | aykin | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 251 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | pour me another | 217 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Punished Ape | 206 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | LukasL | 188 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | aykin | 96 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | +3.01 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | pour me another | +1.95 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | Keturboy | +1.77 | 73 | 41 |
| #4 | Guigs | +1.56 | 84 | 63 |
| #5 | LukasL | +1.12 | 72 | 64 |





