








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2131 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1291 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1624 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,437 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Scrumzy | 60% | 10 |
| #8 | Staniel | 53% | 40 |
| #9 | Liam [95th] | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Phillibo | 48% | 58 |
| #11 | eimear screamer | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillibo | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Staniel | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Scrumzy | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillibo | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Liam [95th] | 37 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | keeg | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | A.J | 31 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☯ Cap'n Kappa ☯ | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A.J | +5.30 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | topclassdanter | +2.58 | 68 | 77 |
| #3 | Osee | +2.05 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | ☯ Cap'n Kappa ☯ | +1.54 | 59 | 63 |
| #5 | Liam [95th] | +0.67 | 51 | 51 |





