








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1147 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1364 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1424 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1222 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,149 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liam [95th] | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | topclassdanter | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Scrumzy | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Staniel | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | dr mew | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Staniel | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | dr mew | 48% | 60 |
| #6 | eimear screamer | 46% | 57 |
| #7 | Phillibo | 45% | 95 |
| #8 | iMoD1998 | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr mew | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Phillibo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | eimear screamer | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Staniel | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | topclassdanter | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr mew | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Phillibo | 158 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | topclassdanter | 72 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Staniel | 60 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Liam [95th] | 30 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topclassdanter | +3.26 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | dr mew | +3.06 | 67 | 73 |
| #3 | Liam [95th] | +2.78 | 56 | 58 |
| #4 | ☯ Cap'n Kappa ☯ | +1.04 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Scrumzy | +0.16 | 37 | 46 |





