








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1714 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2102 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1305 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1409 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,152 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liam [95th] | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | dr mew | 52% | 128 |
| #3 | topclassdanter | 48% | 58 |
| #4 | Scrumzy | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Staniel | 47% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Scrumzy | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Staniel | 47% | 129 |
| #6 | ☯ Cap'n Kappa ☯ | 45% | 95 |
| #7 | iMoD1998 | 44% | 41 |
| #8 | eimear screamer | 44% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr mew | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | topclassdanter | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | ☯ Cap'n Kappa ☯ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Liam [95th] | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Staniel | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr mew | 448 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | topclassdanter | 163 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | ☯ Cap'n Kappa ☯ | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Staniel | 86 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Liam [95th] | 80 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | topclassdanter | +3.60 | 73 | 79 |
| #2 | dr mew | +2.52 | 65 | 74 |
| #3 | Liam [95th] | +1.09 | 58 | 57 |
| #4 | ☯ Cap'n Kappa ☯ | +1.02 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Scrumzy | +0.97 | 32 | 37 |





