








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9401 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8236 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6887 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6349 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,040,467 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woyzeck | 48% | 288 |
| #2 | The one and only Deagle Double G | 45% | 311 |
| #3 | fraim | 44% | 91 |
| #4 | TinkyWinky | 39% | 49 |
| #5 | FriedrichS | 33% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woyzeck | 48% | 288 |
| #2 | The one and only Deagle Double G | 45% | 311 |
| #3 | fraim | 44% | 91 |
| #4 | TinkyWinky | 39% | 49 |
| #5 | FriedrichS | 33% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woyzeck | 27 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | The one and only Deagle Double G | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | FriedrichS | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | fraim | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | TinkyWinky | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woyzeck | 1044 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | The one and only Deagle Double G | 778 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #3 | fraim | 85 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | TinkyWinky | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | FriedrichS | 14 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fresh Dumbledore | +1.34 | 61 | 76 |
| #2 | woyzeck | +0.04 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | The one and only Deagle Double G | -0.98 | 42 | 64 |
| #4 | fraim | -1.63 | 42 | 45 |
| #5 | FriedrichS | -4.30 | 31 | 19 |





