








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 672 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3980 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3636 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2735 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2028 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,568,522 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1078 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woyzeck | 46% | 212 |
| #2 | Fresh Dumbledore | 45% | 311 |
| #3 | fraim | 41% | 76 |
| #4 | TinkyWinky | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | FriedrichS | 26% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woyzeck | 46% | 212 |
| #2 | Fresh Dumbledore | 45% | 311 |
| #3 | fraim | 41% | 76 |
| #4 | TinkyWinky | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | FriedrichS | 26% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woyzeck | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Fresh Dumbledore | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | FriedrichS | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | fraim | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | TinkyWinky | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fresh Dumbledore | 1427 | 0.22 | 39 min |
| #2 | woyzeck | 755 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | fraim | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | FriedrichS | 14 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | TinkyWinky | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fresh Dumbledore | +1.09 | 60 | 75 |
| #2 | woyzeck | +0.11 | 58 | 62 |
| #3 | The one and only Deagle Double G | -0.83 | 41 | 65 |
| #4 | fraim | -1.86 | 45 | 44 |
| #5 | FriedrichS | -4.53 | 34 | 17 |





