








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 191 | 6% |
| Smokes | 695 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1289 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 929 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,873 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Michelle Hundsficker | 46% | 163 |
| #4 | Waheey | 41% | 111 |
| #5 | The one and only Deagle Double G | 39% | 28 |
| #6 | Fresh Dumbledore | 39% | 49 |
| #7 | woyzeck | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waheey | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Michelle Hundsficker | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | The one and only Deagle Double G | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Fresh Dumbledore | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Sössli | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waheey | 227 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fresh Dumbledore | 200 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | The one and only Deagle Double G | 91 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Michelle Hundsficker | 81 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | woyzeck | 49 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sössli | +6.87 | 58 | 45 |
| #2 | Fresh Dumbledore | +3.92 | 63 | 73 |
| #3 | The one and only Deagle Double G | +1.49 | 50 | 56 |
| #4 | Waheey | +0.26 | 31 | 62 |
| #5 | Michelle Hundsficker | +0.14 | 38 | 41 |





