








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 443 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4729 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3932 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3130 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5291 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,966 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ich | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | t0bl | 56% | 281 |
| #3 | SnF- | 56% | 279 |
| #4 | d9JESUSx} | 55% | 460 |
| #5 | p1n | 55% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | t0bl | 56% | 281 |
| #3 | SnF- | 56% | 279 |
| #4 | d9JESUSx} | 55% | 460 |
| #5 | p1n | 55% | 274 |
| #6 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 53% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d9JESUSx} | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | p1n | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | t0bl | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | SnF- | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d9JESUSx} | 1578 | 0.16 | 42 min |
| #2 | t0bl | 1125 | 0.18 | 35 min |
| #3 | p1n | 1119 | 0.19 | 32 min |
| #4 | SnF- | 415 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 225 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d9JESUSx} | +1.02 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | p1n | +0.96 | 72 | 79 |
| #3 | t0bl | +0.57 | 75 | 85 |
| #4 | SnF- | +0.56 | 85 | 57 |
| #5 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | -0.16 | 80 | 65 |





