








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 254 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4571 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4166 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3577 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3727 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,033 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ich | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 56% | 85 |
| #3 | Noname | 56% | 186 |
| #4 | SnF- | 56% | 205 |
| #5 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 55% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 56% | 85 |
| #3 | Noname | 56% | 186 |
| #4 | SnF- | 56% | 205 |
| #5 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 55% | 274 |
| #6 | d9JESUSx} | 54% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d9JESUSx} | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Noname | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | SnF- | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d9JESUSx} | 869 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | Noname | 740 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 689 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #4 | SnF- | 315 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 130 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1n | +1.20 | 72 | 80 |
| #2 | d9JESUSx} | +0.83 | 88 | 72 |
| #3 | Noname | +0.54 | 76 | 86 |
| #4 | SnF- | +0.50 | 86 | 57 |
| #5 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | -0.28 | 80 | 66 |





