








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 908 | 23% |
| Smokes | 838 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1286 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 982 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,299 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | DIFDD Raumice | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | d9JESUSx} | 59% | 46 |
| #6 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 57% | 49 |
| #7 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 55% | 137 |
| #8 | xxlabgedreht | 54% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 254 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | xxlabgedreht | 184 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | p1n | 149 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | d9JESUSx} | 123 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 110 | 0.13 | 3 min |





