








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 256 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1518 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2140 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2297 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2334 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,779 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ich | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 57% | 84 |
| #3 | t0bl | 56% | 194 |
| #4 | p1n | 56% | 205 |
| #5 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 56% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 57% | 84 |
| #3 | t0bl | 56% | 194 |
| #4 | p1n | 56% | 205 |
| #5 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 56% | 279 |
| #6 | d9JESUSx} | 55% | 278 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d9JESUSx} | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | p1n | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | t0bl | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d9JESUSx} | 934 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | p1n | 830 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #3 | t0bl | 794 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #4 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | 652 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #5 | [crACEy]124dieAuto | 102 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1n | +1.01 | 72 | 78 |
| #2 | d9JESUSx} | +1.00 | 89 | 73 |
| #3 | SnF- | +0.61 | 86 | 58 |
| #4 | t0bl | +0.14 | 75 | 86 |
| #5 | Xplor3r (Profi-Pizza) | -0.14 | 80 | 64 |





