








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 831 | 25% |
| Smokes | 731 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1084 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 702 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,084 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karstein | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | sQuirtmaker | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Grazzy | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | prebz | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Cardoso | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Billi BruN | 44% | 32 |
| #8 | Nils1 | 36% | 14 |
| #9 | Sexolog Dennis | 36% | 14 |
| #10 | Ken_Chapo | 33% | 15 |
| #11 | ak$berg | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prebz | 5 | 0.0246 |
| #2 | Jetta Driver | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Ken_Chapo | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Billi BruN | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ak$berg | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grazzy | 123 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Billi BruN | 115 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jetta Driver | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cardoso | 85 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | ak$berg | 52 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billi BruN | +4.26 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | Grazzy | +1.18 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | prebz | +0.92 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | Cardoso | +0.71 | 83 | 76 |
| #5 | Nils1 | +0.62 | 54 | 50 |





