








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 464 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9347 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7383 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7465 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6550 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $748,904 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiri | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | amund | 52% | 176 |
| #3 | Bjorna | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | sQuirtmaker | 49% | 354 |
| #5 | Karstein | 48% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bjorna | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | sQuirtmaker | 49% | 354 |
| #5 | Karstein | 48% | 214 |
| #6 | Jetta Driver | 47% | 488 |
| #7 | BotKS | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jetta Driver | 22 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | sQuirtmaker | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | amund | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Bjorna | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | BotKS | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sQuirtmaker | 991 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #2 | Jetta Driver | 841 | 0.08 | 26 min |
| #3 | amund | 401 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Bjorna | 320 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Karstein | 233 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjorna | +2.34 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | BotKS | +1.55 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | chiri | +1.26 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | Cardoso | +0.50 | 77 | 77 |
| #5 | amund | +0.43 | 75 | 69 |





