








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1461 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1511 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1383 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1667 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 934 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $172,441 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | supersau92 | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | OuttaSauna | 35% | 17 |
| #14 | NoHair | 33% | 9 |
| #15 | Ken_Chapo | 29% | 42 |
| #16 | rayner | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | karlsen | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | prebz | 5 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | ak$berg | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Ken_Chapo | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | soijnerr | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ak$berg | 287 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | thmS* | 55 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Grazzy | 50 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | supersau92 | 47 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #5 | karlsen | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billi BruN | +3.85 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | OuttaSauna | +3.31 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | prebz | +3.17 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Grazzy | +1.14 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | Jetta Driver | +1.04 | 63 | 68 |





