








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 827 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 387 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4515 | 17% |
| Smokes | 8027 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8244 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5660 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,650,194 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 928 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grazzy | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | rayner | 48% | 154 |
| #3 | ak$berg | 48% | 124 |
| #4 | OuttaSauna | 47% | 125 |
| #5 | thmS* | 46% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | NoHair | 45% | 99 |
| #8 | Perry | 44% | 86 |
| #9 | supersau92 | 44% | 85 |
| #10 | cath | 40% | 67 |
| #11 | Paal | 38% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prebz | 15 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | ak$berg | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | OuttaSauna | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | supersau92 | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | thmS* | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ak$berg | 615 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | thmS* | 601 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | supersau92 | 364 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | OuttaSauna | 334 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | NoHair | 315 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prebz | +4.21 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | OuttaSauna | +2.57 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Perry | +2.00 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | Grazzy | +0.78 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | supersau92 | -0.03 | 59 | 66 |





