








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1751 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1923 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2136 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1849 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,386 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 518 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matak1 | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Polo l'abricot | 63% | 104 |
| #3 | pouet pouet | 60% | 98 |
| #4 | ✪ Zephyor! | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Fantin | 50% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Polo l'abricot | 63% | 104 |
| #3 | pouet pouet | 60% | 98 |
| #4 | ✪ Zephyor! | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Fantin | 50% | 68 |
| #6 | NES | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pouet pouet | 29 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Polo l'abricot | 26 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | Fantin | 21 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | NES | 3 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | Matak1 | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fantin | 325 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | pouet pouet | 261 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Polo l'abricot | 246 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Matak1 | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ Zephyor! | 47 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polo l'abricot | +4.74 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | NES | +2.10 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | ✪ Zephyor! | +1.99 | 86 | 70 |
| #4 | Matak1 | +1.28 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | NaY | +1.07 | 68 | 61 |





