








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1591 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1124 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1031 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1356 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,557 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAT' | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | NaY | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | Polo l'abricot | 67% | 46 |
| #4 | Sakeazey | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | NAGU | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pouet pouet | 26 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | Polo l'abricot | 10 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | NaY | 4 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Robitte ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ | 4 | 0.0197 |
| #5 | Fantin | 3 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pouet pouet | 319 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Polo l'abricot | 131 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | NaY | 57 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fantin | 52 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sakeazey | 47 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakeazey | +5.89 | 86 | 81 |
| #2 | Polo l'abricot | +5.42 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | Matak1 | +2.57 | 85 | 64 |
| #4 | NaY | +1.73 | 61 | 71 |
| #5 | NAGU | +1.65 | 73 | 56 |





