








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1502 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1859 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1242 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1532 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $679,715 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matak1 | 67% | 46 |
| #2 | NAGU | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | NaY | 63% | 104 |
| #4 | ✪ Zephyor! | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | pouet pouet | 58% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NaY | 63% | 104 |
| #4 | ✪ Zephyor! | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | pouet pouet | 58% | 194 |
| #6 | sjo | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | Fantin | 54% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pouet pouet | 51 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | NaY | 41 | 0.0200 |
| #3 | Fantin | 20 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | sjo | 10 | 0.0298 |
| #5 | Matak1 | 6 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pouet pouet | 531 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | Fantin | 376 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | NaY | 309 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Matak1 | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Zephyor! | 91 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polo l'abricot | +4.99 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | ✪ Zephyor! | +2.21 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | NAGU | +1.07 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | NaY | +1.06 | 65 | 59 |
| #5 | sjo | +0.54 | 70 | 37 |





