








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3149 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2088 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1964 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1922 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,699 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neko yōguruto | 23 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Fantin | 9 | 0.0205 |
| #3 | AD | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Fondue Raclette | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Les pieds ou ta dignité ? | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neko yōguruto | 629 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | AD | 163 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fantin | 103 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | vroum vroum | 56 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fondue Raclette | 52 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NES | +3.21 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | AD | +0.46 | 72 | 64 |
| #3 | Neko yōguruto | +0.37 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Les pieds ou ta dignité ? | +0.21 | 65 | 46 |
| #5 | Fantin | -0.37 | 66 | 62 |





