








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2851 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2810 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2851 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2951 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,306,097 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAGU | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | oqald | 67% | 42 |
| #3 | NaY | 60% | 98 |
| #4 | Polo l'abricot | 58% | 194 |
| #5 | Fantin | 53% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polo l'abricot | 50 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | NaY | 41 | 0.0209 |
| #3 | Fantin | 21 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | Matak1 | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | NAGU | 5 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polo l'abricot | 498 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | Fantin | 365 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | NaY | 295 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Matak1 | 281 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | JULIO | 137 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oqald | +5.29 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | Polo l'abricot | +5.00 | 90 | 60 |
| #3 | Matak1 | +1.64 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | NAGU | +1.47 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | JULIO | +1.26 | 79 | 67 |





