








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 200 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2717 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3079 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3917 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3355 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,958 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :) | 84% | 25 |
| #2 | xmaarvN | 70% | 89 |
| #3 | Purple Flash | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | No Money 3 Kids | 65% | 123 |
| #5 | butschiii | 64% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Dake | 60% | 99 |
| #10 | neX | 57% | 83 |
| #11 | ナッシー | 55% | 69 |
| #12 | SirRaffley | 54% | 35 |
| #13 | Luc1d | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Money 3 Kids | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Dake | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | $ Meekah | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | xmaarvN | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | neX | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Money 3 Kids | 522 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | butschiii | 365 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | $ Meekah | 331 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | xmaarvN | 322 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Dake | 319 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gergaut | +2.95 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | AyKay -A- | +2.40 | 62 | 88 |
| #3 | No Money 3 Kids | +1.50 | 75 | 73 |
| #4 | :) | +1.29 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | xmaarvN | +0.47 | 86 | 65 |





