








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1522 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1689 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,895 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gergaut | 70% | 89 |
| #2 | No Money 3 Kids | 69% | 118 |
| #3 | danyy | 68% | 25 |
| #4 | butschiii | 65% | 96 |
| #5 | shrimpySツ | 64% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Money 3 Kids | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | shrimpySツ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | butschiii | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | gergaut | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Valar | 2 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | butschiii | 571 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | No Money 3 Kids | 433 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | shrimpySツ | 398 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | gergaut | 179 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Conrick | 94 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valar | +4.22 | 93 | 79 |
| #2 | danyy | +2.55 | 81 | 80 |
| #3 | gergaut | +2.37 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | No Money 3 Kids | +1.79 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | Conrick | +0.63 | 73 | 76 |





