










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3483 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2740 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 432 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 2230 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,084 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gergaut | 61% | 75 |
| #2 | Purple Flash | 60% | 90 |
| #3 | Dake | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | LM | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | HDX | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neX | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | HDX | 11 | 0.0201 |
| #3 | Purple Flash | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Mr. Wabasgebhtsibedasabn | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | gergaut | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neX | 577 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | PENGuin | 288 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Purple Flash | 196 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | gergaut | 180 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | smoky stany | 165 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HDX | +4.79 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | gergaut | +2.86 | 92 | 56 |
| #3 | PENGuin | +2.23 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | LM | +0.91 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | neX | +0.64 | 91 | 65 |





