








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1006 | 27% |
| Smokes | 895 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1083 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 743 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,247,856 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1058 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Banani | 56% | 25 |
| #9 | oXX1d ッ | 53% | 66 |
| #10 | KoricaMT HyperX♛ | 47% | 17 |
| #11 | Talahon PEEK | 47% | 17 |
| #12 | -.z0kZZ | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talahon PEEK | 6 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | slowly | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Smax✪ | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Fudge | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | oXX1d ッ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slowly | +3.05 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | broke. | +2.20 | 87 | 75 |
| #3 | oXX1d ッ | +2.19 | 89 | 55 |
| #4 | Headbang | +1.93 | 95 | 41 |
| #5 | guccisandals | +0.76 | 78 | 61 |





