








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3050 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2353 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2631 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2675 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $847,662 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oXX1d ッ | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | fatty | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Headbang | 67% | 58 |
| #4 | slowly | 66% | 35 |
| #5 | 4MIR | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | xz0r | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | rex | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | .syreX^ | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | KoricaMT HyperX♛ | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | makka | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makka | 6 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Headbang | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | slowly | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | fatty | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | .syreX^ | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Headbang | 115 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | KoricaMT HyperX♛ | 105 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | slowly | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | fatty | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | xz0r | 63 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oXX1d ッ | +3.91 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | slowly | +3.68 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | Headbang | +3.07 | 96 | 38 |
| #4 | 4MIR | +1.53 | 60 | 44 |
| #5 | xz0r | +1.52 | 77 | 65 |





