










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2807 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1804 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1960 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1052 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,319 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Badass Gamer Girl Huge Tits | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | h a b | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | cum pervert | 51% | 164 |
| #4 | BungoBango | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | ratatoolie | 49% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cum pervert | 52 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | ratatoolie | 29 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | UNKNOWN CUM | 27 | 0.0224 |
| #4 | cheese | 16 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | BungoBango | 11 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ratatoolie | 1025 | 0.29 | 29 min |
| #2 | cum pervert | 574 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | cheese | 253 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | h a b | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | BungoBango | 127 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cum pervert | +3.15 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | ratatoolie | +1.08 | 83 | 78 |
| #3 | BungoBango | +0.64 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | cheese | +0.16 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | h a b | -0.01 | 57 | 74 |





