








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3316 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3172 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3438 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2824 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,090,805 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNKNOWN CUM | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | cum pervert | 60% | 98 |
| #3 | jazzy | 58% | 100 |
| #4 | ratatoolie | 55% | 143 |
| #5 | Piggy | 52% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ratatoolie | 55% | 143 |
| #5 | Piggy | 52% | 52 |
| #6 | bong hit transplant | 49% | 61 |
| #7 | cheese | 45% | 69 |
| #8 | BungoBango | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ratatoolie | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | cum pervert | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Piggy | 10 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | cheese | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | jazzy | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ratatoolie | 857 | 0.27 | 28 min |
| #2 | cum pervert | 324 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | bong hit transplant | 264 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | jazzy | 208 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | cheese | 148 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cum pervert | +3.05 | 77 | 73 |
| #2 | h a b | +1.93 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | cheese | +1.02 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | ratatoolie | +0.83 | 81 | 81 |
| #5 | BungoBango | -0.69 | 73 | 68 |





