








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 988 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 385 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3231 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3304 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3841 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3359 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,212 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 926 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ennec | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | matra | 67% | 43 |
| #3 | schRsch | 56% | 90 |
| #4 | eRDwOw | 52% | 121 |
| #5 | tENZA | 51% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | schRsch | 56% | 90 |
| #4 | eRDwOw | 52% | 121 |
| #5 | tENZA | 51% | 157 |
| #6 | hr.Ryw0w | 48% | 64 |
| #7 | ricK | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRDwOw | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | hr.Ryw0w | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | tENZA | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | schRsch | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ricK | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRDwOw | 373 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | schRsch | 331 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | hr.Ryw0w | 260 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | tENZA | 163 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | ricK | 118 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ennec | +2.11 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | tENZA | +1.38 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | ricK | +0.92 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | hr.Ryw0w | +0.43 | 65 | 67 |
| #5 | jackass | +0.40 | 67 | 62 |





