








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 881 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,841 | |
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1618 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1979 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1931 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2586 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,718,408 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sekvi | 62% | 65 |
| #2 | ★GRZxPANDA★ | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | bread enjoyer | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | TRONY | 48% | 62 |
| #5 | gal1 | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | aXEZ | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | FuzzyFury | 41% | 39 |
| #10 | g4udN | 41% | 49 |
| #11 | Phrog | 41% | 27 |
| #12 | Uskar | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sekvi | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | breadmaker85 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | bread enjoyer | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | AwfulAcc | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | g4udN | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gal1 | 361 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #2 | sekvi | 327 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | AwfulAcc | 266 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | breadmaker85 | 263 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | FuzzyFury | 167 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sekvi | +4.04 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | bread enjoyer | +3.50 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | TRONY | +1.43 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | ★GRZxPANDA★ | +0.61 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | aXEZ | +0.59 | 71 | 70 |





