








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2510 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2071 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3277 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2613 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,630,536 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ile | 52% | 224 |
| #12 | itsroT | 51% | 225 |
| #13 | Timsku | 48% | 25 |
| #14 | bobby | 48% | 46 |
| #15 | Yhetsavut | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dANNY | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ile | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | itsroT | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Maddew | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | bobby | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dANNY | 1828 | 0.28 | 58 min |
| #2 | ile | 690 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | itsroT | 511 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | Maddew | 337 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | blst | 335 | 0.18 | 9 min |





