








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6535 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6933 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5134 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6638 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,730,249 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobby | 71% | 48 |
| #2 | Timsku | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | blst | 63% | 196 |
| #4 | Crash | 60% | 103 |
| #5 | itsroT | 59% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | itsroT | 59% | 223 |
| #6 | dANNY | 56% | 326 |
| #7 | Maddew | 56% | 174 |
| #8 | ile | 54% | 234 |
| #9 | discopöllö | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dANNY | 16 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | itsroT | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | discopöllö | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ile | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Maddew | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dANNY | 1926 | 0.30 | 60 min |
| #2 | blst | 783 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #3 | ile | 691 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #4 | Maddew | 557 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #5 | itsroT | 512 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maddew | +2.54 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | dANNY | +1.84 | 86 | 79 |
| #3 | itsroT | +1.13 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | bobby | +0.63 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | SaMi | +0.42 | 76 | 65 |





