








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 809 | 15% |
| Smokes | 879 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1561 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2044 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,992 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teimo | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | WeedTasty | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | WeedCunt | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | PilluMies321 | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | Domitro Dimitris cousin | 51% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pepsiman | 26% | 42 |
| #9 | hey y'all Scott here | 26% | 23 |
| #10 | Hkne | 21% | 14 |
| #11 | Mane$I | 15% | 27 |
| #12 | Tassu | 13% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Domitro Dimitris cousin | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | PilluMies321 | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Tassu | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Niketiini | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | WeedCunt | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScaleCrow | 178 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | WeedCunt | 97 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Niketiini | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mane$I | 62 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tassu | 52 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Domitro Dimitris cousin | +7.12 | 87 | 24 |
| #2 | PilluMies321 | +6.62 | 92 | 26 |
| #3 | Niketiini | +3.25 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | pepsiman | +0.91 | 44 | 32 |
| #5 | WeedCunt | +0.27 | 64 | 56 |





