








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 37% |
| Smokes | 477 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 229 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 253 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,412 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salmansen | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Tobias Er En Bombeplanter!!! | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | bakorino | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Nickname | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catrix | +5.84 | 94 | 63 |
| #2 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | +3.06 | 87 | 65 |
| #3 | XD | +2.09 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | =:) | +1.52 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | Tobias Er En Bombeplanter!!! | +1.26 | 83 | 62 |





