








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 757 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1111 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1081 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1151 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,157 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kev | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | =:) | 81% | 16 |
| #3 | $UPER LORT | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 70% | 23 |
| #5 | Salmansen | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 70% | 23 |
| #5 | Salmansen | 60% | 15 |
| #6 | Nickname | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | Graam | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | bakorino | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $UPER LORT | 3 | 0.0196 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bakorino | 57 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #2 | =:) | 51 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nickname | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Graam | 31 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kev | +5.05 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | bakorino | +1.39 | 88 | 77 |
| #3 | =:) | +1.07 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | Tobias Er En Bombeplanter!!! | +0.95 | 86 | 69 |
| #5 | Graam | +0.93 | 73 | 59 |





