








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,262 | |
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 880 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1223 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1179 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,636 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXThePussyDestroyer420Xx | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Graam | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | poulcen | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | $UPER LORT | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | bakorino | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Graam | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | poulcen | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | $UPER LORT | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | bakorino | 30% | 10 |
| #6 | =:) | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $UPER LORT | 14 | 0.0361 |
| #2 | poulcen | 3 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | bakorino | 2 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | Graam | 2 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | =:) | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $UPER LORT | 107 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | bakorino | 36 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | poulcen | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | =:) | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | xXThePussyDestroyer420Xx | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXThePussyDestroyer420Xx | +4.65 | 94 | 57 |
| #2 | poulcen | +2.72 | 90 | 72 |
| #3 | Graam | +2.12 | 72 | 45 |
| #4 | XD | +1.67 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | =:) | +1.14 | 79 | 61 |





