








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 995 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1036 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 722 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 811 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $103,988 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Veteran | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | $UPER LORT | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | kev | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | iAvocado | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $UPER LORT | 3 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | thinkfast | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | XD | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egelund | 77 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | thinkfast | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | iAvocado | 38 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | $UPER LORT | 35 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | =:) | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kev | +3.64 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Nickname | +2.17 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | $UPER LORT | +2.08 | 80 | 72 |
| #4 | Egelund | +2.07 | 89 | 69 |
| #5 | Veteran | +1.99 | 91 | 75 |





