








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1048 | 29% |
| Smokes | 950 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 830 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 754 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,820 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobias Er En Bombeplanter!!! | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 80% | 25 |
| #3 | kev | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | Nizzen | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Nickname | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Fessor | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | Noname | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | jepse | 31% | 13 |
| #12 | $UPER LORT | 29% | 7 |
| #13 | XD | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | kev | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | $UPER LORT | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fessor | +3.30 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | kev | +2.99 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | +1.87 | 85 | 50 |
| #4 | Noname | +1.75 | 84 | 74 |
| #5 | XD | +1.18 | 74 | 73 |





