








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1084 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1018 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 760 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 889 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,540 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =:) | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | Tobias Er En Bombeplanter!!! | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | bakorino | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | $UPER LORT | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =:) | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | Tobias Er En Bombeplanter!!! | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | bakorino | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | $UPER LORT | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $UPER LORT | 3 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | bakorino | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | 93 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | $UPER LORT | 40 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | bakorino | 39 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | =:) | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tobias Er En Bombeplanter!!! | 18 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nickname | +0.52 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | bakorino | +0.21 | 64 | 73 |
| #3 | Lalisa (tjoeb) | +0.14 | 85 | 49 |
| #4 | $UPER LORT | +0.08 | 60 | 69 |
| #5 | =:) | -0.06 | 83 | 60 |





