








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2064 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2765 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2890 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2396 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $843,942 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ty Lee | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Andyboost | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | [EXD] La0uD | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Marshall | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | Zewkaz | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 46% | 188 |
| #12 | namtaB | 46% | 146 |
| #13 | SHINING. | 40% | 52 |
| #14 | -=Grandiosa=- | 40% | 122 |
| #15 | Xantou^ | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrRedsea | 18 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | -=Grandiosa=- | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Zewkaz | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | namtaB | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Th1nk3r_ | 566 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | Marshall | 485 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #3 | Hårekdenhardbalne | 396 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | MrRedsea | 348 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #5 | Zewkaz | 292 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marshall | +3.54 | 66 | 80 |
| #2 | Shocker | +3.50 | 85 | 39 |
| #3 | Ty Lee | +2.70 | 69 | 79 |
| #4 | Zewkaz | +2.63 | 80 | 81 |
| #5 | MrRedsea | +2.40 | 67 | 81 |





