








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4221 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3033 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4677 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4150 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $280,962 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | air_switch | 58% | 64 |
| #8 | uɐuqǝɹq | 57% | 21 |
| #9 | koz | 52% | 25 |
| #10 | ruki | 50% | 28 |
| #11 | g1n | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spudz | 15 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | DRAKE | 9 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | howareyou | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | koz | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | ruki | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howareyou | 291 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | air_switch | 291 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | 1der | 151 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #4 | Spudz | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | ruki | 99 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uɐuqǝɹq | +3.55 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | 1der | +2.86 | 89 | 87 |
| #3 | Spudz | +2.65 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | pubbl | +1.14 | 63 | 69 |
| #5 | koz | +0.59 | 64 | 38 |





