








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7665 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7044 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6226 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5704 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,550 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 608 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ꝱムЍ | 75% | 69 |
| #2 | xmonkey | 70% | 176 |
| #3 | kaio | 68% | 38 |
| #4 | Tottii | 67% | 218 |
| #5 | rojo | 66% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | CHri$ | 62% | 37 |
| #9 | rico | 62% | 39 |
| #10 | FataL | 61% | 443 |
| #11 | pan1c | 60% | 144 |
| #12 | stinkwer?Oo | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xmonkey | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | FataL | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | stinkwer?Oo | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Tottii | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FataL | 1951 | 0.23 | 45 min |
| #2 | Tottii | 767 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #3 | xmonkey | 638 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #4 | pan1c | 402 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | ꝱムЍ | 348 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xmonkey | +4.16 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | FaWo | +1.90 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | FataL | +1.86 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | ꝱムЍ | +0.98 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Tottii | +0.73 | 80 | 76 |





