








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1584 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2630 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1240 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,237 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2789 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sylvizzle | 49% | 41 |
| #2 | fluoridated | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | BlueCyanide | 42% | 78 |
| #4 | anna | 38% | 40 |
| #5 | movement player | 37% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sylvizzle | 49% | 41 |
| #2 | fluoridated | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | BlueCyanide | 42% | 78 |
| #4 | anna | 38% | 40 |
| #5 | movement player | 37% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | movement player | 20 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | sylvizzle | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | anna | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | BlueCyanide | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | movement player | 109 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | sylvizzle | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | BlueCyanide | 37 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | fluoridated | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | anna | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bipolar Bear | +1.35 | 53 | 38 |
| #2 | BlueCyanide | +1.06 | 64 | 28 |
| #3 | fluoridated | -1.93 | 18 | 52 |
| #4 | movement player | -2.30 | 41 | 27 |
| #5 | sylvizzle | -2.42 | 8 | 35 |





